Friday, October 31, 2014

By David Kirschenbaum

The October Project 2014

Oct. 1

friend writes about feeling overwhelmed
i get ready to send him a note back
"it's like sinead said,
'a pregnancy can change you,'"
look up exact lyric
to make sure there's no negative hidden meaning.

Oct. 2

in 8th grade
i gave edwin galindo
pink floyd's the wall double LP
for his birthday
probably because i
saw it painted on the back of someone's jean jacket.

Oct. 3

search for cleaning lady appointment
in my memo pad,
turning pages back
not finding it,
then forth
not finding it,
not wanting to call her to confirm
if any way to not call and confirm,
then check first datebook in years,
wednesday, 9:30 a.m.

Oct. 4

two-ply tissues are too thin
i rediscover during this flu bout
three-ply are the way to go
but none around
so i double two-ply
and invent, yes, four-ply
and fold them in half again
and invent, my G-d, eight-ply.

long island staying
two days past two weeks pill container
with five days of pills to go
i parcel out pills
to cover the last two days,
figuring that a week of decreased doses
is better than
two days of no doses.

Oct. 5

find resume on external hard drive
copy to flash drive for therapist
tomorrow afternoon

Oct. 6

resume recalibrates to
slightly over a page
on therapist's computer
margin changes don't help,
so have her delete my partial studies
leaving just the degree-bearing ones,
and kill a space below a heading.

Oct. 7

get a med delivered
from nearby cvs
because i don't have to be out of the house
for another couple of days
and figure better to be with the med
than without.

Oct. 8

a four-and-a-half hour nap
is a too long nap
is a nap you need to escape not regenerate
a four-and-a-half hour nap
isn't a too long nap
when the nap you need's not to regenerate but to escape.

Oct. 9

four diabetes docs in one day,
not all docs really,
first social worker,
followed by new nutritionist,
who says ok to keep drinking diet soda,
but i should cut down a smidge
with flavored seltzers as an option,
then nurse,
then new endocrinologist,
who, unlike his predecessor,
doesn't answer his email during our visits.

Oct. 10

three counseling sessions
in five days
social worker,
followed by just therapist next week.

Oct. 11

my sister was right
no more need to shuck corn,
silky strands all over the place,
still on the corn,
and then ziploc bag corn into the microwave,
just leave the corn as is,
husk and all,
microwave it
and then cut off the bottom part of the corn,
and squeeze,
and out, like today at breakfast, lunch,
poor man's stay-at-home brunch,
it comes,
crazy clean and hot,
a couple of seconds under cold water
and yes, corn.

Oct. 12

rice and beans for dinner
long grain rice and black beans,
this diabetic carb counting
scoops one cup rice
half a can of beans
into my bowl
and it was good
and warm
and tummy comfort fooding,
then i packed up the leftover rice and beans,
resisting extra spoonfuls.

Oct. 13

rice and beans leftovers for dinner
i start thinking like i always do after mexican,
i need some chocolate.
none around,
make a cup of hot cocoa.

Oct. 14

bring empty flight attendant rolling carry-on to therapy
walk to cvs afterward,
pepsi two liters 3 for $3
dr peppers two for $2.50
pack eight bottles into suitcase,
carry half gallon of skim and tootsie rolls in plastic bag

Oct. 15

milk's date is today
but it's a sell by
not a good until date
so i smell it
i sip it
two bowls of multigrain cheerios

Oct. 16

i get sad
everytime i hear
"sexual healing."

Oct. 17

out of blueberries
out of money,
in a few days
in money
in blueberries

Oct. 18

check in on everything
on d.a. levy visiting presses
on d.a. levy nyc presses
on welcome to boog city 8.5 poets
on portable boog reader 8 poet

Oct. 19

next time due out
i don't want to go
not that i don't want to go to therapy
i don't want to go to outside
it's easier in here

Oct. 20

check my bank balance online
and the paypal dough for a design project has come through
so if i go to therapy
then i can go to supermarket
and i can leave the house
and return with food and drink
to last until next therapy next week.
post therapy return with
six half-gallons diet iced tea
half-gallon skim milk
salsa, mild
long-grain, brown rice
bag of small granny smith apples
1.5 dozen extra large eggs
two cans black beans
one bunch celery
one box sugar free fudge pops
one light peach yogurt

Oct. 21

eggs are my secret weapon
the new addition to my diet repertoire.
a hard boiled egg with some salt between meals.
two soft boiled eggs with two slices of light wheat bread,
40 seconds in the microwave
a little salt and eat the whites that cooked
dip a slice of bread into each yolk
then 30 seconds more in the microwave for the residue
for a faux omelette.
or a three-egg egg salad,
using ancient metal egg chopper i grew up with,
light mayonnaise
and two mini bialies

Oct. 22

not a hugger
she hugs me
still not a hugger

Oct. 23

fall asleep watching tv
soda doesn't spill on the bed
wake up and begin to watch tv show i fell asleep watching
dvr says  play, not resume,
because it played through as i slept.
fall asleep watching tv
soda doesn't spill on the bed
wake up and begin to watch tv show i fell asleep watching
dvr says  play, not resume,
because it played through as i slept.

Oct. 24

last hardboiled egg in my belly
44 eggs in my fridge
my one big pot dirty in my sink
tomorrow's hardboiling time.

Oct. 25

it's hardboiling time
14 eggs in my one big pot
salt ready for the finish line

Oct. 26

i watch homeland
even though i'm not too sure i want to watch homeland
but i never watch homeland at night
less creepy that way.

Oct. 27

bring empty rolling suitcase
to get haircut and beard shaved off,
head to cvs
buy eight pepsi product two liter bottles,
alternate the bottles in the suitcase
before hitting up a corner fruit stand,
grapes, pears, grapefruits.

Oct. 28

i like being your friend
i like being your friend again
standing in line  for hours on end
i like being your friend
i like being your friend again

Oct. 29

i empty the sink,
dairy sponge most dishes
only powered to air dry them
'fore some diet wild cherry pepsi
and sports commentary shows

Oct. 30

cleared off futon
so i can give folks my bed tonight
surveyed my room
seven weeks out
from chanukah hosting
the what needs to go where
in anticipation of discarding nothing

Oct. 31

last cup of soda in my house
a little caffeine free diet pepsi
another cup with squeezed lemon and ice
awaiting water for me to please
i will see risa soon
and bodega buy a two liter diet pepsi
(no caffeine free there)
i am more excited to see risa,